Open up
by Drop of Water. Drop of Blood
Summary: She'll survive, she always does. After all she survived her parent's death so why not that ? This is a rewrite of Season 1 so of course it will not follow the storyline. Give it a try and you'll see.


_**Disclaimer: I don't own the character, even if I wish I did I just play with them=)**_

_**All the songs that are gonna be used in here are not mine. **_

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_**Birds flyin' high, you know how I feel**_

_**Sun in the sky, you know how I feel**_

_**Breeze driftin' on by, you know how I feel**_

_Yeah they know I feel depressed, _I thought as I stretch in my bed.

I wish I could sleep forever, stay locked in my perfect and happy dream where my parents were still alive, where Jeremy wasn't into drug and where I wouldn't have to feel guilty about their death and blame myself everyday for it.

But unfortunately life isn't kind enough to give me that. Letting out a sigh I threw the comforter beside and get out of my bed, again like I did those last month, the moment my feet touch the ground I pull up my facade and start acting like the robot that I had slowly become.

Putting my hair into a bun, I quickly start tacking off my clothes before openning the bathroom door. I don't bother looking at mysfel in the mirror, knowing that my theeth were still white enough to smile but that my eyes were still looking like I was dying inside. As I step in the shower I turn the water so hot that I can feel it burn my skin, but I don't care.

I stay under the stray of water until I hear a banging outside the door which make me jump out of my trance. "Elena, stop being selfish and get out! You're using all the hot water."

**Selfish, **this word is the only thing that my mind actually registered. Is it he's way of telling me that I don't see what's happing to him ? He may not have meant in this way, but I took it this way.

Just when my thoughts were getting even more depressive, Jeremy choose this moment to start banging against the door like crazy. "I'm coming out, wait a few minutes if you don't to see me naked." I say with a voice that I hope, didn't sound as sad as I hear it.

I open the shower curtain and put the towel around myself then make my way into my room after yelling that I was out. After drying my body I start getting dressed, jean and red top ...Simplest outfit of the world but I wasn't in the mood to get dressed like a barbie.

_I wonder when I ever did since they're dead._

I quickly brush my hair, wanted to spend as little time as possible before the mirror. I start putting my book into my bag along with my diary. _I need a quiet and relax place to write. Plus that way I'll be next to them!_

As I make my way downstair I wonder if Jeremy would want to come with me, to see or talk to them. _Not that he ever do it, but it can only be good no? That kinda help me to deal with _**it **_, so why not with him. _

I was so lost in my thought that I didn't hear Jenna asking me if I was okay, I mumbled a small yes with a radiant smile hoping that she would not ask me more question. I put two pancake on my plate with some strawberry and it half of it. Not questioning myself why I wasn't much hungry.

_My depressive thougth are eating me._

As I see Jeremy make his way downstair I take all my courage to ask him, knowing that when we talk about them we always end up fighting. "Jeremy," I say waiting for him to turn his attention to me, "I know you don't really like to talk about them but I just wanted to let you know that if you wanted you could come with me after school," The more I talked to more I could see he's face dropping. "At the cemetery.. to see them."

Weirdly, even Jenna was looking at me as if I'd just kill a cat. But my attention quickly turn back to Jeremy, who's letting out a fake laugh. Did I really said something wrong ?

He was looking at me even harsher then he did usually. "Stop acting like you care about them, all you did since their dead is smile like a idot and act like nothing happen." _Ouch. _"You don't **cry**, you don't** talk **about it... You don't **care**."

I think I heard Jenna yelling at him to stop, but my mind is locked on what he said. Is it really what he's thinking ? I mean, just because I don't weep around doesn't mean it doesn't touch me. _Is Jenna seeing me this way too ? _

I feel something wet fell on my cheek, Oh shit not now. I quickly wipe the fallen tear away as I make my way to my car. I wait patiently for them to get in the car, trying to lock all thoses bad memory away. I ear the door closed but don't say anything.

_I'm not even in school and my morale is already down._

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We drive to school in an uncomfortable silence... Or near silence because all the way we could hear was Jeremy letting out long sigh. Before Jenna had the chance to stop the car completly, I'm out. I already know that she was gonna ask me to stay and talk about what happend with Jeremy, knowing my very good mood, it might not end well.

I see Caroline and Bonnie heading toward me but I don't really want talk to them. My mind is still wrapped about what Jeremy said to me. _Maybe its true after all, all I did since their dead is smiling mostly because I don't wanna show my emotion._

I try to not listen to the long and nice speech of Caroline, about how she's sorry about my parent's death and that she there if I need. She nice but she never know where to stop..."Caroline, I think she got it !"

That's the thing I love the more about her, she doesn't spend hours on a subject that she know hurt. _Bonnie, my savior will you marry me ?_

Sending a thankful look to Bonnie, I turn around to confirm what she'd just said. "Yeah Care, I got it. But don't worry I'm fine !" _Two hundred fiftieth lie of the year !_

_I'm pretty sure they didn't believe me but for all I care... At least the'll stop talking about it. _

I let out a deep sigh as we made our way in the school. In less than ten second I can feel the burning stare of the students on my back.

_I have a feeling that I'm gonna spend the most shitty year of my life._

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_**I hope you'll did enjoy the first chapter, more to come in the next few day or weeks! Leave review to tell me what you think about it=) Thank for reading.**_


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